Recovery from Gambling Addiction: Lesson learnt from Silvia's experience #3 Understanding addiction is a misdirected motivation

Understanding addiction is a misdirected motivation

I came to believe that addiction is a misdirected motivation.

Why would someone not take care of high priority tasks but choose to gamble instead? High priority tasks such as take care of your children, find a job, go to work, buy some groceries for the week and spend time with your love ones etc. Instead, gambling like playing the pokies machines always seems to be something the brain craves the most? Why? It has to be the brain has misdirected motivation!

I long hypothesized that some people who are addicted to something usually have co-existing mental conditions, such as depression, anxiety or bipolar etc. They have conditions that make them more vulnerable to the vicious cycle of pathological gambling than other people who have more control.

Recently, I came across an article from the Black Dog Institute, they do research in depression and bipolar. This article reported on a recent finding and provided (at least to me) a profound insight to an addictive brain. 

Quote “A number of psychiatric disorders, including substance dependence, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, psychopathy, pathological gambling and bipolar disorder, are characterised by impulsive and risky decision-making.

People with these disorders often find it difficult to control behaviours that offer immediate reward but poor long-term outcomes.”

What they find is: with the bipolar subjects, they are more motivated towards immediate rewards that pay really well but have poor long term consequences than lesser paid reward but works out in the long run.

This is also shown by their brain scan images. Imagine there’s a part of your brain (ventral striatum) becomes activated when you get excited and considered about an immediate reward and if getting this reward is risky then it activates another part of the brain (dorsal striatum) responsible for weighing the consequences of getting it now or not or choose one that is a safer bet. It turns out in bipolar subjects their ventral striatum area responsible for immediate rewards lights up more when betting in a risky task which may give lucrative return compared to healthy control. In contrast, the healthy control lights up different part of their brain - the dorsal striatum as they weigh in the long term consequences and choose the safer bet. This suggests that the decision making is impaired in the bipolar subjects and skew them towards anything that yield immediate reward regardless of consequences. There is also a high percentage of bipolar people having addictions problem. Other studies have shown other addicts such as alcoholics also have higher ventral striatum activity than dorsal activity.

Imagine bipolar people and people with addictions share similar neural circuit deficit. This means we (the pathological gamblers/addicts) are more motivated towards anything that gives immediate reward or pleasure. This means our motivation can be misdirected as we do not consider, or our brain does not process, long term goals properly. This is why anything that gives us short term immediate reward excites us!

This is why when I used to gamble on pokies machines and was chasing losses, I couldn’t stop withdrawing money from the ATM until all my savings had been drawn out. Because my brain is like “I want it now, I want to win, win back the losses now!” and ignore the long term consequences that I would lose all those money. Because once I gamble, it is like the water tap, once I turn it on, it gets loose and all the water starts gushing out and I have difficulty turning it off. Simply because immediate reward come first and the brain, while enjoying this reward/rush, has difficulty processing consequences.   

This is why I feel abstinence from gambling is important because the brain loves immediate reward, has clouded judgement about limits and likely to ignore long term consequences. The more I gamble, the more I lose and the more I couldn't stop. Whereas I am now in abstinence from gambling, although the cravings during the initial phases of quitting gambling was very high, it eventually went away and reduced. The "tap" remained closed.

This is also why I feel so much more motivated in going to sample a great café next day (because I love coffee) than working at uni on a project that I think isn’t going to work. Coffee = immediate reward; negative view on a project = feels like a non-rewarding long term goal.

This is also why even when I am in abstinence from gambling, my brain still loves a game of chance. Recently, McDonalds have this monopoly promotion where you can win instant or collect to win prizes. I recalled that I do get some “feel good rush” even when anticipating and collecting the stickers and winning instant prizes. My brain is susceptible to immediate rewards and pleasure. But this profound insight has great implications. It means that perhaps we can modify long term goals that are unappealing and break them into smaller attractive goals that give you immediate reward and redirecting that motivation. For example work sucks (unattractive long term goal) which might make one escape back to gambling pokies (immediate reward), we can reframe work and make it seems attractive. Remember it is all about perception, you can change your perception and you can change how you view a task. I will elaborate on how changing your perception and thinking can change how your body function next time.

This is also why even when some people quit gambling on pokies machine, they buy lottery tickets or scratches, they smoke, they binge eat, they compulsively shop online, drink alcohol excessively etc. They are all “rewards” that can be immediately executed and perhaps, satisfied.

Understanding your addictive brain maybe neural-anatomically different than other people and how your motivation is being misdirected is important. I am not sure if we are born like this or once you started gambling, it induces changes in the brain that makes it become like this. I hope this sheds a few light on your situation too and help you in your recovery.

Recovery from Gambling Addiction: Lesson learnt from Silvia's experience #2: Understanding anticipation and its relations to "feel good" signal

Understanding anticipation and its relations to "feel good" signal (a.k.a dopamine)

From previous posts, I mentioned somehow I kind of subconsciously overwrite my cravings to gamble and intrusive gambling thoughts with cravings for sugar or good food.

For example, once I learn about a cafe that serves great coffee with rave reviews, I started to anticipate that I would go and visit the cafe the following day. I get a little"high" or a tiny uplift with slight raising in intensity.

After reflecting on this "high", I came to realise it was very similar to the feeling I get:


i) when  I decided I have the money and wanted to gamble, took the money and heading off to the venue, I could feel this feeling inside me raising in intensity while I was on my way to the venue.

ii) when I was chasing losses and went out of the venue to withdraw money and couldn't wait to get back to the pokies machine, same thing I could feel the eagerness and anticipation of how much I could win or hopefully I break even.

iii) On a spur moment decided to head into a gambling venue (e.g. pub), walking towards a pokie machine, I could feel this raising intensity too.

So do you, someone who have a gambling disorder, feel this too?

Of course, by being a scientist, my inquisitive brain naturally decided to hit the google and the scientific journals for an answer or a correlation of some sort. My hypothesis was: this anticipation to gamble or to do favourable activity may also raises dopamine levels in the brain, same way of how near-misses on the pokie machine might have make your dopamine spikes too. Or anticipating a good dopamine rush once you arrive at the venue to start gambling. Recalling dopamine is a feel good chemical, anticipating doing something you eagerly want or like, makes you feel good and better, explaining the raising intensity.

And yes, I was somewhat on the right track. in this article Anatomically distinct dopamine release during anticipation and experience of peak emotion to music , confirms that during anticipation, you do get a good dopamine release.

I also found these two articles: Could Dopamine be the Most Evil Chemical in the World? and this: Are we addicted to anticipation not reward?. Quote "It’s the uncertainty of the reward that drives behaviour and for humans that reward anticipation can last on the short timescale of slot machines at Las Vegas to the decades long anticipation of heaven’s unearthly estate for many."

Quote "If you are addicted, then apparently you are not addicted to the substances and activities you crave, nor to the nicotine of cigarette smoke" " You are, in fact, addicted to the dopamine and its effects."

The article suggests that the brain anticipate the dopamine reward, and is "addicted" to its effects, this could also explains why sometime  we loose control over gambling, why we subconsciously open that "floodgate" to chase losses, how we go from someone who think twice of buying a $6 loaf of sourdough bread to one who brainlessly put in thousands of dollars into the pokie machine and wouldn't stop. It wasn't about winning or loosing, it was about that dopamine effect the brain is after.

The article also stated the reason why it was hard to quit. Quote "if all these things we crave simply plug into our dopamine reward system, then why is it so difficult for a chocoholic to stop eating chocolate and take up jogging instead? Surely, they will both trigger the desired dopamine release? Well, the whole issue of anticipating and receiving the reward is tied in at a subconscious level as we learn to associate a particular stimulus, eating chocolate say, with the reward. It is possible to get the same buzz from jogging as others do from chocolate. But, switching between the two and getting the same anticipation and buzz is difficult."

Indeed, to overwrite this program of compulsive gambling, it requires you to overwrite with an activity that will tuck it deep into your subconscious. If you are conscious to change, that's not enough because your body will resist it when you do it deliberately, think when you were force to exercise, you naturally associate unhappy feeling with it, therefore in order for successful "reprogramming", you need to get it into the deep root of subconscious.

Some of you might notice, when you're not gambling, you turned to smoking or you have a smoking problem. I believe "addiction can transfer/transform from one form to another", like the brain knew which activity will enable a good amount of feel good chemicals released, and if the first activity is not accessible (e.g. gambling), they will scan and look for the next one (e.g. smoking).

You can learn to overwrite "bad programming" (e.g. pathological gambling) in your brain. It could be as easy as getting into an activity you naturally like, or any activities you can anticipate and loving it subconsciously. Go start doing something you once love or pick up something new, start day by day anticipating how you will do it, when you will do it, what you need to get to do it, and intensify that feeling of happiness and greatness once you complete it. It takes time for the brain to be re-conditioned so be patience. If you like music. then learn to enjoy music more, anticipate the climax of the song, sing a long, loving what you enjoy should be effortless.

Look, I once lost my motivation "program" in my brain for work and this reduces the feel good chemicals in my brain (motivations is related to dopamine reward system), I replaced it with quick feel good dopamine rushes from pokies machines. This quick rush is not a good thing as the brain gets too pampered and decided it wanted more and more each time for me to feel happy. I gambled more and more with increasing bet credits, $5 max bet "made" me feel better than 25 cents bet. I completely wrecked my happiness and reward system in my brain and every other activities just didn't seem to make me feel as good.

Until I learn to feel good again doing something I used to like, strangely it was the love for food and cafe hopping. My cravings for gambling drops and was surprisingly replaced with sugar and caffeine cravings lol. Sugar addiction is a real thing. But I have better control for sugar addiction than gambling with lots of money.

Why do I have better control for sugar addiction? I train in gym, I make an effort to eat healthily, I watch my figure, I work in health research field and understand adverse effects of obesity and all these thinking I "program" into my brain and my subconsciously gets it. Therefore I have better discipline for sugar than gambling.

Next I would like to ask you fellow readers, "What is in your inner programming"? What have you program subconsciously in the brain? Was it "if I don't have enough money, I can go "invest" and win the at the pokies machine" or "all i could think of is gambling because it "normalised" me, I felt peaceful there, no worries, no anxiety, but happy" or "I will never be able to quit gambling" or "if I feel bad, or need a hideaway, gambling is the perfect way of escape".

It is wise to be aware of your negative inner programs, then you will learn how to overwrite them with positive ones. This is what I believe, the true cure of addictions lie in fixing the broken inner core, including those "bad programming" you did to yourself consciously or subconsciously, or those subconsciously picked up by your brain because it was biased to "feel good" signals or "feel bad" signal. Otherwise, addictive behaviour may never be resolved and could transform from one form to the other.

I know I can write a very long blog. I hope it is readable. Please pardon me as my english is so-so, if any readers would like to re-write my articles to make them more readable, please kindly drop me an email.

I hope you learn something or have an epiphany moment.

Till next day,

Stay well and start getting awesome,

Silvia

Recovery from Gambling Addiction: Lesson learnt from Silvia's experience #1: Your cravings might be a subconscious sign that your brain is telling you it need something to be done.

Your cravings might be a subconscious sign that your brain is telling you it need something to be done.

After reading Alan Carr's book on Easy Way to Stop Gambling, I believe, gambling created a "feel-good memory" in my brain. Or sometimes I referred to as "dopamine memory".

And every time when your brain is feeling low or not feeling calm (e.g. feeling anxious, panic attack, bored, overly high and happy, emotion fluctuations etc) , subconsciously this intent of wanting to feel good/normal again pops up. And what does your brain do? Your brain will do a scan and then subconsciously remind you that gambling will help to make you feel good again. How does the brain do it? For my case, it pop up an image of pokies machine and prompted me to go and "invest" again...

And after prolong period of not gambling (a few months), and every time I wanted to feel good again, unintentionally, I started eating a lot sugary food or favourite snacks or hunting for that specialty coffee (I love coffee!). One day I began to realise that, whenever I procrastinate or didn't want to do a certain task at work, I find myself craving my favourite snacks or have a strong desire to look for a good place to have a good cup of coffee.  My brain no longer tells me to gamble.... it signals to me of another thing that will make me "feel good" again. So somehow, my brain overwrites the previously "feel good" signal (from gambling) with another (eating favourite things). Warning: I do not promote emotional eating ;)

This overwriting doesn't happen overnight, it happen over a long time of "re-conditioning". The issue is, the "feel good" signal derived from compulsive gambling is so enormous that it is often hard to overwrite. Think of it as a happy chemical in your brain, gambling generate a lot of it with high intensity that is usually hard to match up, especially the way the pokies machines are designed (the sounds, the routine, the payout, the increasing number of credits you see on the screen... everything is ingrained in your brain). I especially remembered once I was going to gym and feeling great after workout, only to realise the "feel good" wasn't in the same magnitude from the ones generated from gambling. Look, my brain made the comparisons! What pokies machines and gambling do to my brain is evil!

So, how did I manage to overwrite the urge to gamble, or the subconscious signal that used to pop up whenever?

First: Abstinence. Stay away from gambling. We have to desensitize the "feel good" signals that gambling brings.

I would say anything to do with gambling. It is never about the $20 ("let's just gamble $20 only" sounds familiar?) because I did that and I ended up loosing all my savings from chasing loses and racked up credit card bills after one trip back to pokies machine. Also refrain from doing anything to do with game of chance and anticipation such as lottery purchasing. It is like you packed away gambling in the Pandora box and only to opened a bit of it to again, and it is never about opening a slit to peep, you end up opening the whole box all over again. What I mean is, after a prolong abstinence from gambling, I thought it was ok to buy lottery again. As I analysed it, you kind of can "control" how much you loose and the rate of loosing seemed slower (gambling away $1000 at pokies machine in 1 hour versus buying $20 worth of lottery tickets). But no, once I started buying lottery, I ended up going to one of the pubs VIP lounge and gamble ALL my money away. It is as if I told my brain from my actions that it is ok to gamble again and then my brain let loose. That's why I said, to desensitize, best is to stay away.

Two: Never suppress your urges, let it come and go.

As time goes by, the urge or craving will become lesser and lesser. I used to walked past VIP lounges at the pubs with my brain signalling me to go in to gamble. EVERYONE of them EVERY SINGLE TIME. It is as if my brain has a regional memory,  it is like saying "hey that's a place to feel good again, let's go in". My brain did it so naturally, and the problem with Australia is, except Perth, almost every pubs and bistro have pokies machine, walking down a street full VIP lounges, it is almost difficult to say no! One weak thought and you might just give in. But not anymore after you read this, it will bring you more awareness. Notice what triggers your cravings, is it you not having enough money and wanted money the quick way? (I did) Or just walking past VIP lounges is enough to trigger the thought of gambling.

What happens when you suppress your urges? It only gets worst and crave more. Think when you were a kid, if you love sweets and someone tells you, you can't have it, won't you want it even more? I started realising this when I tried not to think about gambling and every time I think about it I also attached a fear to it, I was worried I will never have savings because every time I am in the "positive" in the bank, meaning I have savings, I fear that I will loose it all by giving in to pokies machine. I also fear that I will never be gambling free and problem gambling will haunt me the rest of my life. The more I fear, the more I gamble. It appears to me every time I remind myself with fear, my brain will think of gambling. This is as if my brain is in a "not feeling well" position and then telling me "hey, the last time you gamble, you felt good, why not go back there and bring yourself up again". My brain remembers the closest, most effective way to "feel good" activity.

Upon realising that, I stop worrying and fearing, whether about my debts or I will gamble again, I just stop fearing, simple as that. There is no point beating yourself what had happened, it is better to focus from here onwards, what can be done to move forward. This is also a re-direction of your brain, and to refocus your brain on better subjects.

Three: Find a new feel good signal.

Everybody is different, for me is eating my favourite food and café hopping. I will say this is the most difficult part, because the "feel good" signal generated by gambling, especially from pokies machine, is so great that it may feel almost impossible to overwrite. It is like me, after gambling at $5 per maximum lines per spin on the pokies machine, and to go back to just gambling 30 cents per spin, I don't feel the same anymore. The "high" is different gambling at $5 per spin and at 30cents per spin, the rate at which the credits multiply is drastically different too, visually.

But surely and slowly you can re-train your brain to like something better, something that makes you feel so good that eventually over-write the poor gambling habit. Start with something you like, redirect your brain that something else can make you feel good too. Be patient. Expect failures, it could be hard to overwrite, BUT IT CAN BE overwrite. If you do enough, and many times over and over again, and when you start desensitise your brain from not gambling, your brain will start reminding you how to get the new "feel good" emotions. Nowadays, when I walked past VIP lounges, my brain no longer remind me automatically to go in to gamble. In fact I often did not realise I have just walked past a VIP lounge, it is different from last time where every time I walked past one, my brain never ceased to remind me of pokies machines inside the venue.

I also have to warn, be careful to what you overwrite your gambling addiction with, it is usually with another forms of "addiction" or "happy chemical/dopamine generating activities" (could be exercise, smoking, eating, sugar etc), just make sure it is healthy! Yes, I know sugar is now my favourite cravings, it is better than loosing money through gambling, plus because I am also quite healthy conscious, my brain does moderate my intake so all is well ;)

You can do it! You can feel good again without gambling! You have to start feeling good without it!

To overcome gambling addiction, there are more layers to it, I will uncover the other layers and road to gambling free life in my upcoming posts.

Stay well~

Till next time,
Love Silvia

P.S. found this article online: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-gets-addicted-to-gambling/

It confirms what I believe ;)

Recent update

Hi all,

I am sorry I have yet to update my blog due to busy schedule. I will try and post more in the near future. Good news is I haven't been gambling for a long time. I don't count the days I am out without gambling because I am focusing my mind on other greater things in life rather than being constantly reminding myself on the topics of gambling.

I will update on how and where to get help, some techniques which are backed up by science to help cope with gambling problems, and how to retrain your brain and overwrite that craving and beat pokies and other games. :)

stay tune.

with love,
Silvia

Another article on near-miss effect :)

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/02/140228-gambling-brain-win-slot-machines/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=link_fb20140301news-gamble&utm_campaign=Content

Epiphany! Interesting Read on Allen Carr's book

While I was desperately seeking help online one day, a kind man dropped me an email and asked me why not check out Allen Carr's book on Easy Way to Stop Gambling. It helped him quit.

I said to myself why not.

And then an epiphany came to me when I finished his book, or even when I was half way through the book.

This is what I have gathered from all information I have digested from various sources including reading Allen Carr's book.

Allen Carr said in his book on Easy way to quit smoking "Each cigarette does nothing more than make them feel how a non-smoker feels all the time". Perhaps gambling also does nothing more than make people feel how a non-gambler feels all the time.

Now with my understanding, gambling created a "feel-good memory" in my brain. Or sometimes I referred to as "dopamine memory".

When I feel low, for example when I feel depressed or feeling inadequate, there seems like a general anxiety that breeds inside me and I dreaded that feeling. My brain then remembered how to make myself feel good again. And exactly this feeling often leads me to enter a gambling venue such as a pub or bistro nearby and started putting money into the pokie machine. As soon as I sat down and play, my focus shifted, instead of feeling low, I began to focus on the machine, the reels the lines and the sounds, almost naturally the pokie machine take my mind somewhere else. And it never occurs to me that this is when I feel "normal" again. I maybe numbed and hypnotized in the moment, but I "FEEL normal", not sad, not low, but normal, like I am back to my "baseline" or even better, because of winning and hitting the features etc.

Of course when you loose all your money, you wanted to "feel good" again, and the cycle continues. This is also why people chase loses or even when winning or loosing enough, they would not leave. They felt compelled to stay until they have no money left to put in the machine. They want to feel good all the time and avoid feeling the nasties! Even you don't feel good emotionally, your brain chemicals speak differently, it tells your body you feel good from gambling because it registered it as a "happy-chemical memory".

My boyfriend used to think that because I was depressed and therefore I gambled. This was not true because I realized that I too gambled when I was feeling happy too. This greatly surprised me.

However, the same principle mentioned above was able to explain this. I was feeling high and therefore there was some nervous energies high above my "baseline" that I was subconsciously trying to "contain" or regulate. My brain of course remember gambling as one of the habit or event that my mind can stay running like a horizontal line on a graph

Instead of this:

Because the pokie machine are like so hypnotic with their sounds, the visual, the symbols, the features etc... It is no wonder we all feel different when we are gambling than when we are not. We may feel better, more "balanced", void of our life issues because at that moment we don't need to think about any problems and just concentrate on the lines and reels and the credits return. The ups and downs caused by life problems, debts, not having enough money were thrown out of the window when we gambled and were replaced by little peaks of the heart skipping a beat when you hit the jackpot or the free game feature.

SO NOW THAT YOU HAVE LEARNT why we "feel good" while we are gambling and your needing to "feel good and balanced". And gambling serves no purpose other than making you feel "normal" again, or even worst, put you in debt when you have no money for food and living and even buying what you want and need.

I hope you have an epiphany like I do and start finding other ways to balance your brain to feel good in other ways instead of gambling. It is not going to be easy, because the stimulus brought about by gambling is so huge, but you really have to make an effort. It takes time and never stop trying.

I also happen to change upon this document explaining the happy chemicals.
Happy Chemicals Explained

Till I write again, All the best.

First Step to Recovery is Acceptance... Not Suppression...

The first step to recovery is acceptance. This is what I have learnt.

Why? Because from experience, usually after a heavy lost, I vowed not to gamble again. And each day I was in abstinence there was always this fear breeding inside me, the fear that one day I would relapse again... and almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy, I did.

I learnt that each time I tried to suppress the thought of gambling, it will somehow make the urge to gamble stronger. It's almost like asking someone not to think of pink elephant and they inevitably will.

Noticing this, I stopped suppressing the thoughts of gambling and along the fears that I would relapse. Instead I allow my thoughts to come naturally to me knowing that they will eventually pass. I choose to face my fears. I accept as they come and choose not to react to them.

As a result, I notice a strong reduction in urge to gamble.

Therefore I never count the days I am gambling free, I spent my energies and time working on doing "mind gym" and building a stronger mind to prepare myself if one day I am vulnerable again, my mind will be strong enough to find a way out.

I know for some of you, calculating the days you're gambling free helps and encourages you, just keep doing whatever that helps you.

Bottom line is... recovery starts with acceptance, accept that you have a gambling problem, you're a compulsive gambler, having an addiction problem and face your fears, it's a good start.

My Experience After Attending The Gambling Treatment Clinic

After sunking to the rock bottom, I decided to reach out and seek help. I research online and found out in Sydney Australia, there is a Gambling Treatment Clinic held at University of Sydney.

I attended one session a week for a period of 4-6 weeks. (I can't remember how long, sorry.)

I concluded that the sessions were helpful.

They helped me identify how I held false belief about the pokie machines. Even though I knew the machines operated at random, I believed that some machines were "more favourable" than others because they "were better aligned" hence greater chance of getting a better return.

They also pointed out how much money I would have lost in total and helped me to trace back what happened in the past that trigger the gambling problem.

They informed me that the gambling problem is a  "learnt behaviour" and can therefore be "unlearnt"

They told me that pokie machine were set to return about 75-85% of the credits bet and how this is done. This was actually the first time I learnt about this rule. They shown me how even though machines operate randomly are set to return 75-85% of your credits bet, you will still end up loosing in the long run if you continue to bet and the house always have the "house edge".

One important message that come out of the sessions, "Winning is only temporary so, what's the point?"

The treatment sessions and counselling were helpful. Therefore I encourage you to reach out and seek help.

I can't say that the completely cure me and stop me from compulsive gambling, but I would say they do help to a certain extend in pointing out and straightening up some of my false beliefs. I did gamble a lot less often or rarely after. Every bit helps. I know I still have problems and I will touch on these problems some other time.


Updated: 14 July 2014

Found this article online: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-gets-addicted-to-gambling/

It confirms what I believe ;) That gambling problem is an addiction, though my therapist said that it wasn't and it was a "learnt behaviour". Pathological gambling was used to be classified as impulse control disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) and now moved to a more appropriate category: addiction.

If Rats Are Susceptible... So Can You! The Near-Miss Effect...

I am 34 years old female a phD student, a researcher and having problems with pokie machines. It just go to show anyone is susceptible, female or male, irregardless of your occupation, your financial status and intelligence...If even rats are susceptible, so can you!

Sometimes I read widely, and anything that interests me. 

In an attempt to understand my compulsive gambling behaviour, I came across a journal articles titled "A Selective Role for Dopamine D4 Receptors in Modulating Reward Expectancy in a Rodent Slot Machine Task." Wow, they had even designed a slot machine for the rats!

"Methods: In the 16-month study, a cohort of 32 laboratory rats responded to a series of three flashing lights before choosing between two levers. One combination of lights (all lights illuminated) signaled a win and seven combinations (zero, one or two lights) signaled a loss. A “cash-out” lever rewarded the rat with 10 sugar pellets on winning trials, but gave a 10-second “time out” penalty on losing trails. The “roll again” lever allowed the rats to begin a new trial without penalty, but provided no sugar pellets.

Interestingly, the rats showed a tendency towards choosing the cash-out lever when two lights (near-miss) illuminated, suggesting that rats, like people, are susceptible to the near-miss effect."

Which one of you, like me, are susceptible to this near miss effect? I hadn't given too much thought about the near-miss effect until I read this article. The sounds the coins of the "Five dragon" pokie machine makes when they landed on the reel and the lanterns on the Lucky 88? 

It makes sense now, I was always rooting for the "free game" features and get very very excited whenever two of the scatters landed on the reel to almost hit the feature. I could feel my heart beating fast or almost skipped a beat! 

And many times the reason why I won't leave even when I was winning or loosing is because "something tells me, a free game feature is near..." "I will stay until I hit the next free game feature!"

All the visual and audio ques the pokie machine makes, is ingrained in the brain, like a form of hypnosis. Hitting the feature or almost hitting the feature must have create something in my brain that makes me feel good and wanting more. I started to call this "dopamine memory" or the "feel good memory" after I read about the effects of what dopamine and serotonin do to you. I will write on this topic sometime later.

So, the next time you're stuck at the venue again and rooting for a "free game feature" and seeing 1 symbol away from hitting the feature, think twice again... 

It's not you, it's the nature of the design of these pokies machines, they create something in your brain to make you crave more and more of those "feel good feelings"

And when you're loosing, you want these "feel good feelings" even more and ended up chasing loses and the cycle continues...

Some people are lucky to walk away, some not so lucky and have susceptible mind like mine, must learn a way to re-program our mind to cope with situations like this, learning other techniques to make ourselves feel good when we needed instead of hitting the machines straight away. 

Till next time I write again. All the best.

Gambling: Anyone is susceptible... About Me

I am 34 years old female a phD student, a researcher and having problems with pokie machines. It just go to show anyone is susceptible, female or male, irregardless of your occupation, your financial status and intelligence...

I had been playing pokie machine since 2002, where casino is so readily accessible in Australia. At first it was just me and my ex-boyfriend going there for a nice evening meal. They had $10 dinner deals where they give you a dinner meal and a $5 pokie machines voucher, so dinner only end up costing $5. Pretty cheap and easy for us student at that time.

We went in and have fun. It started $20 harmless fun. If we win close to $50, that night was amazing. Harmless fun huh?

Fast forward a few years later, I broke up with my then ex-boyfriend, sunk into depression and lonely. Where did I go? I went to casino in the city, where I could hide myself at a corner and just aimlessly, mindlessly pressing buttons away. It doesn't even matter if I win or lose money. I just wanted it to take all the "bad feelings" away from me. The jackpot link sometimes excited me.

I don't know when, but sometime in 2004, other life crisis happen (relationship was not going well and so was my studies) and along came a lot of life uncertainties. I started increasing my bets and numbing my sorrows in casino. I did not knew I had problem at that time except I was living paycheck to paycheck. If I ran out of money, I knew money will come in next month...

I started with 1 credit, 25-30 cents per spin to $8.40 per spin now. Lower credit bet lines does not satisfy me anymore, not the way they increase and multiply in credits paid as oppose to when I bet maximum each spins. So my advice is stop while you can before becoming like me increasing your bets each time.

Sometimes on a bad binge, I end up loosing all money I could access to in my bank which is $2,500 from my credit cards.

I had been to therapies and read books about how to tackle gambling problems.

Specifically, I had attended gambling treatment clinic at University of Sydney, hypnotherapy to help me cope with my problem gambling in an attempt to quit, read a few books on how to prevent relapse etc. Because I am a student, though I am not a pyschology student, I have access to journal articles and reading and researching topics related to compulsive gambling, OCD and impulsivity helps me understand more about the disorder.

I had been wanting to blog for a long while now and had a list of items I wanted to write on... so stay tune and check out often. :)

I can be reached at silvialining @ gmail dot com

First Post

Today mark the first day I am blogging about my recovery from addictions to pokies machine.

I had lost $3000 yesterday in a very bad binge on pokies machine yesterday. Yesterday is also the day where I finally have positive surplus $400 in my bank after it took me 4 months to repay the $2500 debt I withdrew from my credit card. Only today to start over again...

I really wish there is a way I could hijack my brain to make it better, overcome the intrusive thoughts to push me towards going back to the gambling venues and stopping myself from withdrawing frantically in huge amounts after severe loss. I know I can get better and stop gambling for myself, my family and my love ones.

I will not stop trying until I succeed.