Recovery from Gambling Addiction: Lesson learnt from Silvia's experience #1: Your cravings might be a subconscious sign that your brain is telling you it need something to be done.

Your cravings might be a subconscious sign that your brain is telling you it need something to be done.

After reading Alan Carr's book on Easy Way to Stop Gambling, I believe, gambling created a "feel-good memory" in my brain. Or sometimes I referred to as "dopamine memory".

And every time when your brain is feeling low or not feeling calm (e.g. feeling anxious, panic attack, bored, overly high and happy, emotion fluctuations etc) , subconsciously this intent of wanting to feel good/normal again pops up. And what does your brain do? Your brain will do a scan and then subconsciously remind you that gambling will help to make you feel good again. How does the brain do it? For my case, it pop up an image of pokies machine and prompted me to go and "invest" again...

And after prolong period of not gambling (a few months), and every time I wanted to feel good again, unintentionally, I started eating a lot sugary food or favourite snacks or hunting for that specialty coffee (I love coffee!). One day I began to realise that, whenever I procrastinate or didn't want to do a certain task at work, I find myself craving my favourite snacks or have a strong desire to look for a good place to have a good cup of coffee.  My brain no longer tells me to gamble.... it signals to me of another thing that will make me "feel good" again. So somehow, my brain overwrites the previously "feel good" signal (from gambling) with another (eating favourite things). Warning: I do not promote emotional eating ;)

This overwriting doesn't happen overnight, it happen over a long time of "re-conditioning". The issue is, the "feel good" signal derived from compulsive gambling is so enormous that it is often hard to overwrite. Think of it as a happy chemical in your brain, gambling generate a lot of it with high intensity that is usually hard to match up, especially the way the pokies machines are designed (the sounds, the routine, the payout, the increasing number of credits you see on the screen... everything is ingrained in your brain). I especially remembered once I was going to gym and feeling great after workout, only to realise the "feel good" wasn't in the same magnitude from the ones generated from gambling. Look, my brain made the comparisons! What pokies machines and gambling do to my brain is evil!

So, how did I manage to overwrite the urge to gamble, or the subconscious signal that used to pop up whenever?

First: Abstinence. Stay away from gambling. We have to desensitize the "feel good" signals that gambling brings.

I would say anything to do with gambling. It is never about the $20 ("let's just gamble $20 only" sounds familiar?) because I did that and I ended up loosing all my savings from chasing loses and racked up credit card bills after one trip back to pokies machine. Also refrain from doing anything to do with game of chance and anticipation such as lottery purchasing. It is like you packed away gambling in the Pandora box and only to opened a bit of it to again, and it is never about opening a slit to peep, you end up opening the whole box all over again. What I mean is, after a prolong abstinence from gambling, I thought it was ok to buy lottery again. As I analysed it, you kind of can "control" how much you loose and the rate of loosing seemed slower (gambling away $1000 at pokies machine in 1 hour versus buying $20 worth of lottery tickets). But no, once I started buying lottery, I ended up going to one of the pubs VIP lounge and gamble ALL my money away. It is as if I told my brain from my actions that it is ok to gamble again and then my brain let loose. That's why I said, to desensitize, best is to stay away.

Two: Never suppress your urges, let it come and go.

As time goes by, the urge or craving will become lesser and lesser. I used to walked past VIP lounges at the pubs with my brain signalling me to go in to gamble. EVERYONE of them EVERY SINGLE TIME. It is as if my brain has a regional memory,  it is like saying "hey that's a place to feel good again, let's go in". My brain did it so naturally, and the problem with Australia is, except Perth, almost every pubs and bistro have pokies machine, walking down a street full VIP lounges, it is almost difficult to say no! One weak thought and you might just give in. But not anymore after you read this, it will bring you more awareness. Notice what triggers your cravings, is it you not having enough money and wanted money the quick way? (I did) Or just walking past VIP lounges is enough to trigger the thought of gambling.

What happens when you suppress your urges? It only gets worst and crave more. Think when you were a kid, if you love sweets and someone tells you, you can't have it, won't you want it even more? I started realising this when I tried not to think about gambling and every time I think about it I also attached a fear to it, I was worried I will never have savings because every time I am in the "positive" in the bank, meaning I have savings, I fear that I will loose it all by giving in to pokies machine. I also fear that I will never be gambling free and problem gambling will haunt me the rest of my life. The more I fear, the more I gamble. It appears to me every time I remind myself with fear, my brain will think of gambling. This is as if my brain is in a "not feeling well" position and then telling me "hey, the last time you gamble, you felt good, why not go back there and bring yourself up again". My brain remembers the closest, most effective way to "feel good" activity.

Upon realising that, I stop worrying and fearing, whether about my debts or I will gamble again, I just stop fearing, simple as that. There is no point beating yourself what had happened, it is better to focus from here onwards, what can be done to move forward. This is also a re-direction of your brain, and to refocus your brain on better subjects.

Three: Find a new feel good signal.

Everybody is different, for me is eating my favourite food and café hopping. I will say this is the most difficult part, because the "feel good" signal generated by gambling, especially from pokies machine, is so great that it may feel almost impossible to overwrite. It is like me, after gambling at $5 per maximum lines per spin on the pokies machine, and to go back to just gambling 30 cents per spin, I don't feel the same anymore. The "high" is different gambling at $5 per spin and at 30cents per spin, the rate at which the credits multiply is drastically different too, visually.

But surely and slowly you can re-train your brain to like something better, something that makes you feel so good that eventually over-write the poor gambling habit. Start with something you like, redirect your brain that something else can make you feel good too. Be patient. Expect failures, it could be hard to overwrite, BUT IT CAN BE overwrite. If you do enough, and many times over and over again, and when you start desensitise your brain from not gambling, your brain will start reminding you how to get the new "feel good" emotions. Nowadays, when I walked past VIP lounges, my brain no longer remind me automatically to go in to gamble. In fact I often did not realise I have just walked past a VIP lounge, it is different from last time where every time I walked past one, my brain never ceased to remind me of pokies machines inside the venue.

I also have to warn, be careful to what you overwrite your gambling addiction with, it is usually with another forms of "addiction" or "happy chemical/dopamine generating activities" (could be exercise, smoking, eating, sugar etc), just make sure it is healthy! Yes, I know sugar is now my favourite cravings, it is better than loosing money through gambling, plus because I am also quite healthy conscious, my brain does moderate my intake so all is well ;)

You can do it! You can feel good again without gambling! You have to start feeling good without it!

To overcome gambling addiction, there are more layers to it, I will uncover the other layers and road to gambling free life in my upcoming posts.

Stay well~

Till next time,
Love Silvia

P.S. found this article online: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-gets-addicted-to-gambling/

It confirms what I believe ;)