Understanding anticipation and its relations to "feel good" signal (a.k.a dopamine)
From previous posts, I mentioned somehow I kind of subconsciously overwrite my cravings to gamble and intrusive gambling thoughts with cravings for sugar or good food.
For example, once I learn about a cafe that serves great coffee with rave reviews, I started to anticipate that I would go and visit the cafe the following day. I get a little"high" or a tiny uplift with slight raising in intensity.
After reflecting on this "high", I came to realise it was very similar to the feeling I get:
i) when I decided I have the money and wanted to gamble, took the money and heading off to the venue, I could feel this feeling inside me raising in intensity while I was on my way to the venue.
ii) when I was chasing losses and went out of the venue to withdraw money and couldn't wait to get back to the pokies machine, same thing I could feel the eagerness and anticipation of how much I could win or hopefully I break even.
iii) On a spur moment decided to head into a gambling venue (e.g. pub), walking towards a pokie machine, I could feel this raising intensity too.
So do you, someone who have a gambling disorder, feel this too?
Of course, by being a scientist, my inquisitive brain naturally decided to hit the google and the scientific journals for an answer or a correlation of some sort. My hypothesis was: this anticipation to gamble or to do favourable activity may also raises dopamine levels in the brain, same way of how near-misses on the pokie machine might have make your dopamine spikes too. Or anticipating a good dopamine rush once you arrive at the venue to start gambling. Recalling dopamine is a feel good chemical, anticipating doing something you eagerly want or like, makes you feel good and better, explaining the raising intensity.
And yes, I was somewhat on the right track. in this article Anatomically distinct dopamine release during anticipation and experience of peak emotion to music , confirms that during anticipation, you do get a good dopamine release.
I also found these two articles: Could Dopamine be the Most Evil Chemical in the World? and this: Are we addicted to anticipation not reward?. Quote "It’s the uncertainty of the reward that drives behaviour and for humans
that reward anticipation can last on the short timescale of slot
machines at Las Vegas to the decades long anticipation of heaven’s
unearthly estate for many."
Quote "If you are addicted, then apparently you are not addicted to the
substances and activities you crave, nor to the nicotine of cigarette
smoke" " You are, in fact, addicted to the dopamine and its effects."
The article suggests that the brain anticipate the dopamine reward, and is "addicted" to its effects, this could also explains why sometime we loose control over gambling, why we subconsciously open that "floodgate" to chase losses, how we go from someone who think twice of buying a $6 loaf of sourdough bread to one who brainlessly put in thousands of dollars into the pokie machine and wouldn't stop. It wasn't about winning or loosing, it was about that dopamine effect the brain is after.
The article also stated the reason why it was hard to quit. Quote "if all these things we crave simply plug into our dopamine reward
system, then why is it so difficult for a chocoholic to stop eating
chocolate and take up jogging instead? Surely, they will both trigger
the desired dopamine release? Well, the whole issue of anticipating and
receiving the reward is tied in at a subconscious level as we learn to
associate a particular stimulus, eating chocolate say, with the reward.
It is possible to get the same buzz from jogging as others do from
chocolate. But, switching between the two and getting the same
anticipation and buzz is difficult."
Indeed, to overwrite this program of compulsive gambling, it requires you to overwrite with an activity that will tuck it deep into your subconscious. If you are conscious to change, that's not enough because your body will resist it when you do it deliberately, think when you were force to exercise, you naturally associate unhappy feeling with it, therefore in order for successful "reprogramming", you need to get it into the deep root of subconscious.
Some of you might notice, when you're not gambling, you turned to smoking or you have a smoking problem. I believe "addiction can transfer/transform from one form to another", like the brain knew which activity will enable a good amount of feel good chemicals released, and if the first activity is not accessible (e.g. gambling), they will scan and look for the next one (e.g. smoking).
You can learn to overwrite "bad programming" (e.g. pathological gambling) in your brain. It could be as easy as getting into an activity you naturally like, or any activities you can anticipate and loving it subconsciously. Go start doing something you once love or pick up something new, start day by day anticipating how you will do it, when you will do it, what you need to get to do it, and intensify that feeling of happiness and greatness once you complete it. It takes time for the brain to be re-conditioned so be patience. If you like music. then learn to enjoy music more, anticipate the climax of the song, sing a long, loving what you enjoy should be effortless.
Look, I once lost my motivation "program" in my brain for work and this reduces the feel good chemicals in my brain (motivations is related to dopamine reward system), I replaced it with quick feel good dopamine rushes from pokies machines. This quick rush is not a good thing as the brain gets too pampered and decided it wanted more and more each time for me to feel happy. I gambled more and more with increasing bet credits, $5 max bet "made" me feel better than 25 cents bet. I completely wrecked my happiness and reward system in my brain and every other activities just didn't seem to make me feel as good.
Until I learn to feel good again doing something I used to like, strangely it was the love for food and cafe hopping. My cravings for gambling drops and was surprisingly replaced with sugar and caffeine cravings lol. Sugar addiction is a real thing. But I have better control for sugar addiction than gambling with lots of money.
Why do I have better control for sugar addiction? I train in gym, I make an effort to eat healthily, I watch my figure, I work in health research field and understand adverse effects of obesity and all these thinking I "program" into my brain and my subconsciously gets it. Therefore I have better discipline for sugar than gambling.
Next I would like to ask you fellow readers, "What is in your inner programming"? What have you program subconsciously in the brain? Was it "if I don't have enough money, I can go "invest" and win the at the pokies machine" or "all i could think of is gambling because it "normalised" me, I felt peaceful there, no worries, no anxiety, but happy" or "I will never be able to quit gambling" or "if I feel bad, or need a hideaway, gambling is the perfect way of escape".
It is wise to be aware of your negative inner programs, then you will learn how to overwrite them with positive ones. This is what I believe, the true cure of addictions lie in fixing the broken inner core, including those "bad programming" you did to yourself consciously or subconsciously, or those subconsciously picked up by your brain because it was biased to "feel good" signals or "feel bad" signal. Otherwise, addictive behaviour may never be resolved and could transform from one form to the other.
I know I can write a very long blog. I hope it is readable. Please pardon me as my english is so-so, if any readers would like to re-write my articles to make them more readable, please kindly drop me an email.
I hope you learn something or have an epiphany moment.
Till next day,
Stay well and start getting awesome,
Silvia
Wednesday 16 July 2014
Wednesday 9 July 2014
Recovery from Gambling Addiction: Lesson learnt from Silvia's experience #1: Your cravings might be a subconscious sign that your brain is telling you it need something to be done.
Your cravings might be a subconscious sign that your brain is telling you it need something to be done.
After reading Alan Carr's book on Easy Way to Stop Gambling, I believe, gambling created a "feel-good memory" in my brain. Or sometimes I referred to as "dopamine memory".
And every time when your brain is feeling low or not feeling calm (e.g. feeling anxious, panic attack, bored, overly high and happy, emotion fluctuations etc) , subconsciously this intent of wanting to feel good/normal again pops up. And what does your brain do? Your brain will do a scan and then subconsciously remind you that gambling will help to make you feel good again. How does the brain do it? For my case, it pop up an image of pokies machine and prompted me to go and "invest" again...
And after prolong period of not gambling (a few months), and every time I wanted to feel good again, unintentionally, I started eating a lot sugary food or favourite snacks or hunting for that specialty coffee (I love coffee!). One day I began to realise that, whenever I procrastinate or didn't want to do a certain task at work, I find myself craving my favourite snacks or have a strong desire to look for a good place to have a good cup of coffee. My brain no longer tells me to gamble.... it signals to me of another thing that will make me "feel good" again. So somehow, my brain overwrites the previously "feel good" signal (from gambling) with another (eating favourite things). Warning: I do not promote emotional eating ;)
This overwriting doesn't happen overnight, it happen over a long time of "re-conditioning". The issue is, the "feel good" signal derived from compulsive gambling is so enormous that it is often hard to overwrite. Think of it as a happy chemical in your brain, gambling generate a lot of it with high intensity that is usually hard to match up, especially the way the pokies machines are designed (the sounds, the routine, the payout, the increasing number of credits you see on the screen... everything is ingrained in your brain). I especially remembered once I was going to gym and feeling great after workout, only to realise the "feel good" wasn't in the same magnitude from the ones generated from gambling. Look, my brain made the comparisons! What pokies machines and gambling do to my brain is evil!
So, how did I manage to overwrite the urge to gamble, or the subconscious signal that used to pop up whenever?
First: Abstinence. Stay away from gambling. We have to desensitize the "feel good" signals that gambling brings.
I would say anything to do with gambling. It is never about the $20 ("let's just gamble $20 only" sounds familiar?) because I did that and I ended up loosing all my savings from chasing loses and racked up credit card bills after one trip back to pokies machine. Also refrain from doing anything to do with game of chance and anticipation such as lottery purchasing. It is like you packed away gambling in the Pandora box and only to opened a bit of it to again, and it is never about opening a slit to peep, you end up opening the whole box all over again. What I mean is, after a prolong abstinence from gambling, I thought it was ok to buy lottery again. As I analysed it, you kind of can "control" how much you loose and the rate of loosing seemed slower (gambling away $1000 at pokies machine in 1 hour versus buying $20 worth of lottery tickets). But no, once I started buying lottery, I ended up going to one of the pubs VIP lounge and gamble ALL my money away. It is as if I told my brain from my actions that it is ok to gamble again and then my brain let loose. That's why I said, to desensitize, best is to stay away.
Two: Never suppress your urges, let it come and go.
As time goes by, the urge or craving will become lesser and lesser. I used to walked past VIP lounges at the pubs with my brain signalling me to go in to gamble. EVERYONE of them EVERY SINGLE TIME. It is as if my brain has a regional memory, it is like saying "hey that's a place to feel good again, let's go in". My brain did it so naturally, and the problem with Australia is, except Perth, almost every pubs and bistro have pokies machine, walking down a street full VIP lounges, it is almost difficult to say no! One weak thought and you might just give in. But not anymore after you read this, it will bring you more awareness. Notice what triggers your cravings, is it you not having enough money and wanted money the quick way? (I did) Or just walking past VIP lounges is enough to trigger the thought of gambling.
What happens when you suppress your urges? It only gets worst and crave more. Think when you were a kid, if you love sweets and someone tells you, you can't have it, won't you want it even more? I started realising this when I tried not to think about gambling and every time I think about it I also attached a fear to it, I was worried I will never have savings because every time I am in the "positive" in the bank, meaning I have savings, I fear that I will loose it all by giving in to pokies machine. I also fear that I will never be gambling free and problem gambling will haunt me the rest of my life. The more I fear, the more I gamble. It appears to me every time I remind myself with fear, my brain will think of gambling. This is as if my brain is in a "not feeling well" position and then telling me "hey, the last time you gamble, you felt good, why not go back there and bring yourself up again". My brain remembers the closest, most effective way to "feel good" activity.
Upon realising that, I stop worrying and fearing, whether about my debts or I will gamble again, I just stop fearing, simple as that. There is no point beating yourself what had happened, it is better to focus from here onwards, what can be done to move forward. This is also a re-direction of your brain, and to refocus your brain on better subjects.
Three: Find a new feel good signal.
Everybody is different, for me is eating my favourite food and café hopping. I will say this is the most difficult part, because the "feel good" signal generated by gambling, especially from pokies machine, is so great that it may feel almost impossible to overwrite. It is like me, after gambling at $5 per maximum lines per spin on the pokies machine, and to go back to just gambling 30 cents per spin, I don't feel the same anymore. The "high" is different gambling at $5 per spin and at 30cents per spin, the rate at which the credits multiply is drastically different too, visually.
But surely and slowly you can re-train your brain to like something better, something that makes you feel so good that eventually over-write the poor gambling habit. Start with something you like, redirect your brain that something else can make you feel good too. Be patient. Expect failures, it could be hard to overwrite, BUT IT CAN BE overwrite. If you do enough, and many times over and over again, and when you start desensitise your brain from not gambling, your brain will start reminding you how to get the new "feel good" emotions. Nowadays, when I walked past VIP lounges, my brain no longer remind me automatically to go in to gamble. In fact I often did not realise I have just walked past a VIP lounge, it is different from last time where every time I walked past one, my brain never ceased to remind me of pokies machines inside the venue.
I also have to warn, be careful to what you overwrite your gambling addiction with, it is usually with another forms of "addiction" or "happy chemical/dopamine generating activities" (could be exercise, smoking, eating, sugar etc), just make sure it is healthy! Yes, I know sugar is now my favourite cravings, it is better than loosing money through gambling, plus because I am also quite healthy conscious, my brain does moderate my intake so all is well ;)
You can do it! You can feel good again without gambling! You have to start feeling good without it!
To overcome gambling addiction, there are more layers to it, I will uncover the other layers and road to gambling free life in my upcoming posts.
Stay well~
Till next time,
Love Silvia
P.S. found this article online: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-gets-addicted-to-gambling/
It confirms what I believe ;)
After reading Alan Carr's book on Easy Way to Stop Gambling, I believe, gambling created a "feel-good memory" in my brain. Or sometimes I referred to as "dopamine memory".
And every time when your brain is feeling low or not feeling calm (e.g. feeling anxious, panic attack, bored, overly high and happy, emotion fluctuations etc) , subconsciously this intent of wanting to feel good/normal again pops up. And what does your brain do? Your brain will do a scan and then subconsciously remind you that gambling will help to make you feel good again. How does the brain do it? For my case, it pop up an image of pokies machine and prompted me to go and "invest" again...
And after prolong period of not gambling (a few months), and every time I wanted to feel good again, unintentionally, I started eating a lot sugary food or favourite snacks or hunting for that specialty coffee (I love coffee!). One day I began to realise that, whenever I procrastinate or didn't want to do a certain task at work, I find myself craving my favourite snacks or have a strong desire to look for a good place to have a good cup of coffee. My brain no longer tells me to gamble.... it signals to me of another thing that will make me "feel good" again. So somehow, my brain overwrites the previously "feel good" signal (from gambling) with another (eating favourite things). Warning: I do not promote emotional eating ;)
This overwriting doesn't happen overnight, it happen over a long time of "re-conditioning". The issue is, the "feel good" signal derived from compulsive gambling is so enormous that it is often hard to overwrite. Think of it as a happy chemical in your brain, gambling generate a lot of it with high intensity that is usually hard to match up, especially the way the pokies machines are designed (the sounds, the routine, the payout, the increasing number of credits you see on the screen... everything is ingrained in your brain). I especially remembered once I was going to gym and feeling great after workout, only to realise the "feel good" wasn't in the same magnitude from the ones generated from gambling. Look, my brain made the comparisons! What pokies machines and gambling do to my brain is evil!
So, how did I manage to overwrite the urge to gamble, or the subconscious signal that used to pop up whenever?
First: Abstinence. Stay away from gambling. We have to desensitize the "feel good" signals that gambling brings.
I would say anything to do with gambling. It is never about the $20 ("let's just gamble $20 only" sounds familiar?) because I did that and I ended up loosing all my savings from chasing loses and racked up credit card bills after one trip back to pokies machine. Also refrain from doing anything to do with game of chance and anticipation such as lottery purchasing. It is like you packed away gambling in the Pandora box and only to opened a bit of it to again, and it is never about opening a slit to peep, you end up opening the whole box all over again. What I mean is, after a prolong abstinence from gambling, I thought it was ok to buy lottery again. As I analysed it, you kind of can "control" how much you loose and the rate of loosing seemed slower (gambling away $1000 at pokies machine in 1 hour versus buying $20 worth of lottery tickets). But no, once I started buying lottery, I ended up going to one of the pubs VIP lounge and gamble ALL my money away. It is as if I told my brain from my actions that it is ok to gamble again and then my brain let loose. That's why I said, to desensitize, best is to stay away.
Two: Never suppress your urges, let it come and go.
As time goes by, the urge or craving will become lesser and lesser. I used to walked past VIP lounges at the pubs with my brain signalling me to go in to gamble. EVERYONE of them EVERY SINGLE TIME. It is as if my brain has a regional memory, it is like saying "hey that's a place to feel good again, let's go in". My brain did it so naturally, and the problem with Australia is, except Perth, almost every pubs and bistro have pokies machine, walking down a street full VIP lounges, it is almost difficult to say no! One weak thought and you might just give in. But not anymore after you read this, it will bring you more awareness. Notice what triggers your cravings, is it you not having enough money and wanted money the quick way? (I did) Or just walking past VIP lounges is enough to trigger the thought of gambling.
What happens when you suppress your urges? It only gets worst and crave more. Think when you were a kid, if you love sweets and someone tells you, you can't have it, won't you want it even more? I started realising this when I tried not to think about gambling and every time I think about it I also attached a fear to it, I was worried I will never have savings because every time I am in the "positive" in the bank, meaning I have savings, I fear that I will loose it all by giving in to pokies machine. I also fear that I will never be gambling free and problem gambling will haunt me the rest of my life. The more I fear, the more I gamble. It appears to me every time I remind myself with fear, my brain will think of gambling. This is as if my brain is in a "not feeling well" position and then telling me "hey, the last time you gamble, you felt good, why not go back there and bring yourself up again". My brain remembers the closest, most effective way to "feel good" activity.
Upon realising that, I stop worrying and fearing, whether about my debts or I will gamble again, I just stop fearing, simple as that. There is no point beating yourself what had happened, it is better to focus from here onwards, what can be done to move forward. This is also a re-direction of your brain, and to refocus your brain on better subjects.
Three: Find a new feel good signal.
Everybody is different, for me is eating my favourite food and café hopping. I will say this is the most difficult part, because the "feel good" signal generated by gambling, especially from pokies machine, is so great that it may feel almost impossible to overwrite. It is like me, after gambling at $5 per maximum lines per spin on the pokies machine, and to go back to just gambling 30 cents per spin, I don't feel the same anymore. The "high" is different gambling at $5 per spin and at 30cents per spin, the rate at which the credits multiply is drastically different too, visually.
But surely and slowly you can re-train your brain to like something better, something that makes you feel so good that eventually over-write the poor gambling habit. Start with something you like, redirect your brain that something else can make you feel good too. Be patient. Expect failures, it could be hard to overwrite, BUT IT CAN BE overwrite. If you do enough, and many times over and over again, and when you start desensitise your brain from not gambling, your brain will start reminding you how to get the new "feel good" emotions. Nowadays, when I walked past VIP lounges, my brain no longer remind me automatically to go in to gamble. In fact I often did not realise I have just walked past a VIP lounge, it is different from last time where every time I walked past one, my brain never ceased to remind me of pokies machines inside the venue.
I also have to warn, be careful to what you overwrite your gambling addiction with, it is usually with another forms of "addiction" or "happy chemical/dopamine generating activities" (could be exercise, smoking, eating, sugar etc), just make sure it is healthy! Yes, I know sugar is now my favourite cravings, it is better than loosing money through gambling, plus because I am also quite healthy conscious, my brain does moderate my intake so all is well ;)
You can do it! You can feel good again without gambling! You have to start feeling good without it!
To overcome gambling addiction, there are more layers to it, I will uncover the other layers and road to gambling free life in my upcoming posts.
Stay well~
Till next time,
Love Silvia
P.S. found this article online: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-gets-addicted-to-gambling/
It confirms what I believe ;)
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