Be cruel to yourself! Yes? No? Manage to get your attention? :P
Be cruel to yourself means: to do something you don’t always
do, which is to overcome that resistance to change. And when you overcome the
resistance to change, change takes place and you will speed up your recovery
process.
Because staying in gambling is easy, because escaping is
easy, but to face the problems, you feel like it will take so much effort to
get better right? It is true, because it takes you out of what you normally do,
what you normally react, it takes you out of your comfort zone and sometimes
you might feel vulnerable when you are facing these issues.
Actually, lesson #4 is about: now is the time to start
taking care of yourself. And you have every reasons to be, so you can be in a
position to win this fight against gambling and better recovery.
Especially if any one of your triggers is emotional, such as
stress, anxiety, depression, boredom, seeking thrill etc.
I know gambling is an easy way out for many of us but… I
want out, hence I am going to do things differently than letting myself go.
In an attempt to recover from gambling addiction, I looked
through journal papers to see if I can change something to better myself and
aid in recovery.
And it’s true enough, after I follow these steps, I have
functioned better and having less emotional triggers that leads to gambling.
#4.1 Sleep well
First of all, please do have enough sleep about 7-8 hours of
sleep a night and make sure you’re sleeping at night and not in the day.
The lack of sleep can lead to more cognitive/mental
malfunction. Research had shown when you sleep, the cerebrospinal fluid flushes
the metabolic waste out of your brain so your brain can function better after
refresh. This is when the body can heal itself, through sleep.
Studies had also shown that the lack of sleep can lead to
cognitive malfunction such as poorer judgement, poorer memory recall, and more
impulsivity. People who are night owls or nocturnal are also more prone to mood
disorders and mental illness. I used to be nocturnal and after reading papers
on this, I changed my sleeping patterns, I will also highlight the importance of
vitamin D, sleep and melatonin later at #4.3.
To get better, is to sleep better. It’s better for your
brain anyway.
#4.2 Eat Well
Many mood disorders are brought about by the lack of
nutrition and nutrients the body needs.
One of the trending topics in research world is about gut
bacteria and you have millions and billions of it. Think of your gut microflora
as something like a forest. Depending on what you eat, you populate more of
some species than others. But not all species of gut bacteria are good for you.
Studies had shown that people who eat irresponsibly and have more junk food in
their diet (oily, fried food, nutrients-poor food) are related to having some
form of mood disorders such as depression and anxiety. Studies had also shown
people with depression had a gut bacteria population different to healthy
normal control. These findings showed us that what you eat can affect your body
and how your brain function and think.
Fibres, oh my goodness! Did you know to populate the good
bacteria in your gut, you actually have to feed them good fibres from
vegetables and fruits? I am convinced now after reading various papers, now
constantly looking for ways to add veges and fruits to my diet.
Make sure you eat a well balance diet: good amount of
carbohydrate and protein and low fat but not no fat, some amount of good fat is
good for you. I remembered one time I traced back my sudden onset of depression
due to me following the fad diet of high protein and low carb diet, it actually
“crashed” my brain. I later learnt carbohydrates and proteins help your body to
produce serotonin and dopamine in your system, they are your happy chemicals.
Eat at regular times, because your body wants to know when
and where to consistently produce your happy chemicals and not wreck your
reward system in your brain (which is often disturbed by prolong gambling).
Some studies had also shown that supplementing diet with
omega-3 oil from fish or krill can have beneficial effects on the brain and
help with depression and anxiety, this has to do with the ingredients in the
fish oil (EPA, DHA).
Zinc deficiency had also implicated in mood disorder, nuts
are good source of zinc.
Obesity can also lead to more mood disorders, so losing some
weight will help.
The bottom line is eat well, eat right and you will feel
better. Feeling better means better control, which leads to quitting gambling
successfully, and sooner to recovery.
#4.3 Exercise Well + Sun
Sun exposure and exercise can be as simple as…
Oh please don’t frown at this, I know some of you will… You
can start with 15 minutes of brisk walking that raises your heart beat. Do make
sure you are in good physical condition to exercise otherwise please consult
your doctor.
15-30 minutes of brisk walking (meaning walking with
intensity or walking quickly). If you live around areas that have uphill slopes
or roads with incline, you will benefit tremendously from this, it adds
intensity. Walking casually is not exercise enough, to exercise sufficiently,
you need to raise your heart beat with moderate intensity exercise, you can do
so by brisk walking. Did I also mention I actually lost 3 kg by just brisk
walking 35x2 minutes a day to and fro my
university. Simple exercise can bring about huge benefits.
In addition, exercise is a healthy source of happy chemicals
(I cover what happy chemicals is from other lessons). In the journals papers I
read, exercise helps with metabolism and can raise happy chemicals within your
body, even those chemicals normally you lack of when you are depressed or
emotionally unbalanced. I won’t go into tiny weeny details such as how exercise
changes your circulating miRNA, proteins (which are stuffs my nerdy brain are
interested in), just take my words that it will help you better your mood.
Vitamin D deficiency is often associated with mood disorders
such as depression, panic attack and anxiety. To help raise your vitamin D,
just go for a walk and expose to the sun for 15-20 minutes a day. You can also
get vitamin D from some food such as milk or take supplement, but please take
them in the day or you won’t be able to sleep at night.
Your body makes vitamin D after exposure to sun in the day
and at night they inversely make melatonin which helps you sleep. See how going
outdoor for a bit and having good sleep are important for your body system now?
#4.4 Think Well: Mind Gym / Mood Gym
Below are some online help suggestions for strengthening
your mind. Some of us don’t grow up with the set of skills or being taught how
to regulate our emotions and thinking. It can be our very own self-limiting
belief that is bringing our mood down. Example: Oh my goodness this is SO
stressful, I really have to go somewhere to relax and... end up where pokies
machines are…”.
Instead of reacting to stressful/boring/anxious/depressing environment
the same way as you always do, you can learn to re-route your train of thoughts
by re-directing your brain how to think better. If driving the same path always
ends up in traffic jam or accident, why don’t you try taking a different route
then? You just need a GPS (some help for how to begin), and the you can find
yourself with a new thinking pattern. Sometimes not new thinking pattern, you
may just become so aware of your thoughts that now you will have more control
on what to think and feel next. If you find
yourself needing more help, please find professionals to help you or email me
with specific questions or areas.
Mindfullness meditation
#4.5 Quit well: Take note of other addictive behaviour (your
other source of unhealthy form of happy chemicals)
Usually people with addictions have other co-existing addictive
behaviour too. Do you notice that you may also smoke cigarettes or excessive
drinking or addicted to food (sugar, caffeine, fat, etc) or video gaming,
compulsive web-surfing or even physical interaction. Take note of these
behaviours as you quit gambling, whether one becomes more or less obvious. If
you slowly tune each of them down, you will have higher chance of quiting
gambling successfully, instead of turning one addiction to the other.
I have sugar-addiction too but now it’s more tuned down :P
#4.6 Relax and Socialise. Re-connect with people.
Socialise – your
other source of happy chemicals, re-balance your brain.
I know you may ask: how can you socialise and be happy when
there is such a huge debt behind you? The truth is, if you continue to gamble,
you will pile on more debt. Stop now, start anew and learn to re-balance your
brain again with healthy good sources of happy chemicals. Of course please
choose to be with the ones that make you happy and positive, not the ones who
always complain about every single thing on earth that brings your mood down.
Because when you are comfortable, relax and have a great
company, your brain naturally gives you a healthy boost of happy feel-good
chemicals, which you don’t need the pokies or gambling to give you. It also
allows your brain to re-calibrate your feel-good self.
I know some of you may be recluse like I used to and may
encounter social anxiety while you do this. I think it is natural, after all
you haven’t been meeting people for so long and suddenly you feel great
connecting with your friends, neighbours or best mates, the surge in happy chemicals
in your brain may leave you feeling empty and vague after you leave the group
or company. Do it a few more times and you will get used to it.
I remembered I felt so good chatting with my mates again in-person,
only to feel that huge drop after I finished meeting with them. Do I go back
gambling after that? No, I simply just visualize and tell myself I will get
used to this happy feeling again, each time I will feel more and more happy and
after when I leave the meeting/catch ups, I notice the drop is getting less and
less.
One of the factors that contribute to Happy People being
happy is that they always have feel good connections with someone, friends or
family, etc
One recent article also suggested that if you connect with others or environment in a positive, you are also likely to give up addictive behaviour. For more information see here: The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think
One recent article also suggested that if you connect with others or environment in a positive, you are also likely to give up addictive behaviour. For more information see here: The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think
#4.7 De-stress and do something you like! Re-connect with your life and interests.
This is also to re-build your normal healthy happy chemicals pool. Pick something you like to do and go do it. Pick up that hobby again. In James May's toy story show, they made volunteers to help build huge Lego structures and some of them said it was therapeutic. Listening to your favourite songs can be also enjoyable.
Pick up meditation can help calm your mind and bring your stress level down.
#4.8 Overwriting triggers
Your Gambling-Free 100 days
If you are always counting gambling free days, example “this
is the second day I haven’t gambled”. I always think that it may not be a good idea to
always remind yourself of something negative, kinda reinforcing gambling as
negative and sometimes the underlying fear may creep in the background and
cause the relapse.
Instead, I proposed counting days of “instead of gambling
I do this… and it makes me happy day” (or you can use the word calm, peaceful,
life more exciting etc)
E.g. Day 1, Instead of gambling, I choose to go out with my friends,
we laughed a lot and it makes me happy.
Day 2, Instead, I choose to play a computer game, never have
so much fun until now, and it makes me happy
Day 3, Instead, I go to the Gym and work out, I feel
healthier, and it makes me happy
Day 4, Instead of being bored, I choose to go to a live
concert, listen to music, and it makes me happy
Few techniques applied here, 1) you don’t remind yourself
again and again gambling has a negative influence on you; you don’t need to
remind yourself you are quiting gambling, eventually you will successfully quit
it. 2) Re-direct your brain to doing something you enjoy, so your brain knows
there is alternative way of being happy, calm, peaceful and not bored. 3)
Planned and looking forward to an event generates happy chemicals, helps you to
cultivate that balance back. 4) Overwriting past triggers, e.g. it used to be
when you’ve got nothing to do, you go to gamble. Now you can do this: Day 6,
Instead of having nothing to do, I choose to plan a trip to my favourite café
to drink coffee or weekend trip getaway, and it makes me happy.
Been planning to complete writing for so long. Sorry for the
delay.
Please let me know if any of these information is helpful.
Keep your emails coming, I enjoy reading them :)
For now, take care and good luck.
Till next time,
With many blessings,
Silvia
